About Self-care
Self-care is the activity you consciously take to look after your mental, emotional, and physical health. It may sound like a very simple concept, yet most of us often find it is something we have ignored.
Self-care is not about being selfish and only considering our own needs. It is about looking after ourselves and subsequently being able to take care of our loved ones. Good self-care is key to live a balanced life. It is important to not only ourselves but also to our loved ones and our relationships with them. Imagine yourself being constantly exhausted, anxious, frustrated, how do your spouse and children would feel around you, leaving alone supporting them in the time of need?
This is probably why the flight attendants instruct us to ‘put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone sits with you’. We need to take care of ourselves first in a unique situation like what we are experiencing right now.
How Do We Make A Start
So we know self-care is important, but ‘how’ do we make a start? Often I heard people asking the question of how to fit self-care into their busy schedule. This is particularly the case for women, as in addition to their professional life, they also play the roles of wives and mums. What can they do and how do they find the time to do anything for themselves?
I have three simple pieces of advice to kick things off:
- Understand what works for you
We are all different individuals with unique characteristics. Self-care may mean distinctive things to each person, the form of self-care that works for others may not be what you need, and vice versa. That is perfectly fine. Just like you have a set of keys in hand, and if you don’t know which key it is for a particular lock, simply try them one by one till you find the right one that works.
- Plan it out
Self-care is not something that just happens. It is a conscious choice you make, you need to plan and execute activities to deliver the desired positive outcome. Add the planned activities to your calendar and get reminders for them, tell your family and friends about it so they can ‘supervise’ you to stick to the plan, and practice self-care where and when possible.
- Anchor the changes
Remember, we are often swimming against the tide, the busy schedules and competing priorities in daily life will always try to pull us back. If you practice self-care, always be aware of how it feels and the value-add for you, acknowledge the outcomes and how it helps, anchor the changes and keep on going forward.
Some Practical Advice
Practising self-care requires us to change behaviours in a certain way. If the change is perceived to be long-fetched, we might not be motivated to do anything at all. It is thought to be a good idea to start small with realistic and achievable changes.
As mentioned, self-care can mean different things to different people, I have listed below what worked for me in this unique time, and hopefully, it can provide you with some ideas:
- Realise the environment may be toxic and its impact on you, look after your well-being and emotions.
- Do something you enjoy to relax. Activities vary from people to people, such as cooking, watching movies, and practising meditation, whatever works for you!
- Say ‘no’ to the things you don’t want to do or shouldn’t be doing, such as checking your work phone during meals or speaking to people who make you feel bad.
- Look for opportunities to laugh and spread the laughter out! I regularly check out channels for funny pictures and videos and send them to my friends and family groups.
- Spend quality time with your loved ones (even virtually) and support each other mentally during this difficult time.
- Sleep for at least 7 – 8 hours helps you to revitalise and get ready for the next day.
- Healthy and nutritious diet (and supplement of multi-vitamins) is extremely important in the quarantine which strengthens your immune system.
- Regular exercise improves your physical condition, as well as mood and energy.
This list of self-care activities has helped me to go through some difficult times during the quarantine. It is non-exhaustive and may look completely different from yours. And I’d love to hear from you on what works for you.
If there is only one thing I’d like you to take away from reading this article, that would be to remember ‘put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else’. Self-care is not about being selfish, but to look after yourself which in turn affects your relationship and loved ones. It is important to remember that self-care is about YOU and what works for you. It takes time to practice and make sure you anchor the ‘new you’re in the process to make small but steady steps towards the best you can be.
