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by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 4, 2020 | Agile Coaching
In my last blog, I have briefly introduced the Drama Triangle and the three roles in it. If the triangular setting is healthy and serves all players’ interests, there might be no reason to change it. Temporary discomfort may help people to achieve better results sometimes. However, if the triangular relationship becomes detrimental for those involved, and result in long-term conflicts, low performance, and resentments, it is probably the time to escape the triangle.
One way to identify the point to escape the Drama Triangle is by probing the imbalance between players’ intentions as well as in the relationship. The players should take some distance and potentially exit the triangular setting if they are dissatisfied with the situation. Constructive changes help all people to refocus on the matter and the positive sides of things. It does not matter which player initiate the change first. All the three players are so closely bound together, change in one will automatically provoke a change in the relationship dynamics and the others.
So how can we escape the Drama Triangle constructively? Here are a few steps we can consider.
Create Self-awareness
The first step to escape the Drama Triangle is to understand what it entails, be aware of the role you are playing in a particular circumstance, and be watchful not to take one of the three roles.
You can ask yourself a few powerful questions to improve your self-awareness. Questions such as: What role you are playing in the Drama Triangle? How long you have been playing that role? How is it serving you? Is this role where you’d like to be? If not, what can you do to change it? What are the actions you need to take to escape it?
By becoming self-aware of your stance in the Drama Triangle, you will become mindful and avoid taking any role in it. You will not be the passive Victims who’d be dependent on others to provide solutions, or the Rescuers who’d jump in other people’s issues uninvited, or the Persecutors who’d criticize others without being helpful to tackle the underlying problem.
Change and Get Help to Change
The next step after creating awareness is to take action and implement desired changes. Note that making and sustaining change can be challenging, as you are moving out from your ‘comfort zone’.
It’s suggested that people can form groups and obtain support from each other who are facing the same type of challenges. It’s helpful to be part of a bigger group, where you can relate to and build rapport and trust with the people. Be part of a group helps you to realize you’re not alone, and that you can offer and receive support, encouragement, and innovative ideas to and from others.
An alternative is to get yourself a coach, who can help you to gain clarity on your goals, empower you to plan actions, implement and anchor the desired changes. This is also discussed later in the Empowerment Triangle.
Use Non-Violent Communication (NVC)
In my last blog article, I have used a fictitious conversation at the workplace to demonstrate the Drama Triangle in motion. One simple way to escape the Drama Triangle in motion is to use non-violent communication (NVC).
The NVC allows people to communicate with honesty and empathy, instead of implying wrongness on each other. It enables people to share their observations harmoniously, offers a great opportunity for them to exchange feelings and establish deep connections, helps them to understand the needs and requests from other parties, and set the tone for a win-win solution.
As a result, all parties are more compassionate and less defensive, conflicts are less likely to occur, and people are more likely to take responsibility and work collaboratively to achieve a common goal.
Adopt the Empowerment Triangle
Womeldorff created a new triangle in The Empowerment Dynamic (TED), in which he has pivoted the Drama Triangle into a set of relationships or roles that are more passionate and empowering, and can lead to a positive approach to life’s challenges.
TED shifts the roles from the Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor to the Creator, Coach, and Challenger. It helps us to change mindsets, work towards the desired outcomes, and generate greater awareness and more options.
In the Empowerment Triangle:
- Victims change to Creators, who focus on outcomes, rather than problems. Creators get clarity over the outcomes they are trying to create in lives, and take responsibility for initiating actions to achieve those desired outcomes.
- Rescuers take on the role of Coaches, who are compassionate and believe in Creators. They empower Creators by helping them develop goals and action plan through inquiry. Coaches encourage challenge and support individuals to create their own solutions, instead of solving the problem on their behalves.
Persecutors adopt the role of Challengers, who challenge assumptions and status quo and focus on growth and development. They hold Creators accountable for taking actions and making progress, they lift people up instead of criticizing or blaming.
It is important to realise that shifting from the Drama Triangle roles to the Empowerment Triangle roles require a huge amount of creativity, courage and effort, especially for someone who has assumed themselves in a particular role for long. TED promotes a mindset change, and an empowered and resourceful way of thinking, which see obstacles as challenges and increases our ability to improve options and desired outcomes.
I hope you found this article helpful. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Learn more about self-awareness, emotional intelligence, creating psychological safety, asking powerful questions, and professional coaching skills in our ICAgile Certified Professional Agile Coaching online course ICAgile Certified Agile Coaching online course.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 3, 2020 | Agile Coaching, Scrum Training
Many a time we have come across a situation where team members complain that stories were not ready before the sprint.
At times, people complain that they are seeing the story for the very first time. Does this sound familiar?
Another common complaint I have heard is that the Acceptance Criteria is not fully developed.
How can we address these issues?
It is very simple. All the stakeholders of the project should agree upon a cadence where the team meets every single week to go through the product backlog and refine the same.
When is the best time to refine the Product Backlog?
- Ideally once in a week and time box it for 1 hour. In a sprint of 2 weeks, at least teams should have met twice.
What is the Purpose of this meeting?
- Plan for the next Iteration (sprint)
- Refine, Prioritize the stories
- Further, develop acceptance criteria
- The team should have visibility of at least 3 Iterations
Who are the participants?
- It is owned and prioritized by the Product Owner
- Scrum Master, Product Owner, Development team (both developers and testers)
- Subject Matter Experts, Architects
What is the outcome of this meeting?
- Scrum Master facilitates the product backlog refinement meeting
- Product Owner picks up each story which would be part of the discussion to clarify any doubts and also to update Acceptance Criteria
- This helps the team to identify the dependencies between the teams
- Call out from technical architects if it is not technically viable to do right away in the upcoming Iteration
- Summarize the action items, decisions made and make sure this is visible to all the relevant stakeholders
The above should help in reducing the frustration during the Iteration Planning meeting and also the teams would get the sense of collaboration to set clear cut acceptance criteria.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 3, 2020 | Agile Coaching, Scrum Training
What is the purpose for us using ‘Kanban‘ for Portfolio management?
At senior executive levels, it is all about churning ideas each day for your product lines.
The portfolio backlog inputs can come from Sales and Marketing teams, End users, through customer interviews, adhering to compliance, product management teams, etc… These are nothing but strategic themes.
The idea of using Kanban is as follows:
- Pick an idea from the “To Do” to evaluate if it is feasible. Limit the number of ideas picked each week for evaluation purpose (WIP)
- Most importantly create visibility to all the key stakeholders
- The strategic themes
- Prioritize the ideas which are of high business value by ensuring we get inputs from all the key stakeholders
- Allocate lean budgets for each of the value streams
- Solution Architects inputs are most vital to know technical feasibility before prioritizing
- Easiness of maintaining a visualization board
- Continuous exploration feeds the Kanban “To Do” list
Done State
- Approved Epics becomes part of the Portfolio Backlog
It is better to have a cadence preferably to review once in 2 weeks to continuously evolve as a framework to get the most valued items delivered to customers on a fast track mode. This will also help in improving upon WIP limits
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 3, 2020 | Agile Coaching, Scrum Training
The Intent
With twenty-four years in the Indian Army (Infantry and Army Aviation) and two years in the corporate environment, it has been my earnest endeavour to synthesise my learnings in service and deliver high-quality content to my clients as part of Leadership Tribe. What I deliver in my training, they are sourced from active combat situations in my postings and deployments as a counter-terrorism specialist, a combat helicopter pilot and a trainer in Organisational Behaviour at the College of Defence Management.
I have effectively incorporated military leadership and team performance lessons in my sessions as an Agile trainer, Coach, Facilitator and Consultant. Needless to say, my sessions on Agile focus on agility as a mindset, respecting the human element, developing cross-functional competencies, operating in VUCA situations and handling conflict scenarios; areas I have been trained and have consistently performed during my service in uniform.
It came as a pleasant surprise when I was invited to introduce ‘Agile’ in an Army base to explore possibilities of adopting new ways of working and thinking into their existing culture. It was now time to introduce new ways of ‘being’ and ‘doing’ to the very organisation which shaped me to what I am today. It was also an opportunity to ‘give back’ something of value.
The Approach
The Indian Army is an organisation steeped in legacy. Customs, traditions and ethos that have been fiercely guarded against external influences and lend themselves to a culture of high performance and selfless service. However, like any adaptive entity, it needs to embrace change to make itself relevant to a dynamic environment. I saw an opportunity to introduce Agile from an ontological approach. Emphasising more on the primacy of Agile as a ‘mindset’ and the need to acknowledge the importance of the human ‘being’. Using a psychological approach, the aim was to enlighten the participants (Senior Officers), to the art and science of “Being Agile”. The day-long engagement was more on discovering the various facets of the human mind and exploration through shared learning. It was a welcoming change to witness willful participation by the officers (despite the existing hierarchal influence that was present in the room) and the creation of a psychologically safe environment by none other than the Commandant himself.
Does the Military Need Agile?
The military works from the ‘ground-up’ with a core philosophy of building resilient teams responding to any situation or circumstance. They function under numerous processes and procedures that need revalidation and revision. Legacy habits need to be shed and new ways of thinking and operating need to be factored in. Management practices need are looked and substituted with more practical frameworks that are easy to adopt, flexible, responsive and consistent. Agile fulfils in these areas by contributing the following merits:
- Awareness on why any change/transformation can truly be manifested when stakeholder interest is driven from the very top
- Inculcating the true spirit of the Agile Mindset ushers in greater agility in the way things are done.
- Agile frameworks (Kanban, Scrum) implementation into existing processes and procedures.
- Change Management from a more enabling perspective by adopting the Agile way of ‘Being’.
- Facilitation and Coaching are skills that augment the efficiency of leadership (everyone is a leader here). Training to be an Agile coach and facilitator opens up new vistas for officers to address complex man-management issues much more effectively.
- Brings in a fresh perspective and creativity to problem-solving, especially issues that are sourced from human interactions.
How we Benefit?
Leadership Tribe in its relentless pursuit to push the domain of Agile as a Mindset into significant ‘Non – IT’ environments have leapt faith by engaging with the officers of the Indian Army. The willingness of the officers of the Army to know more from us about ‘Being Agile” and the opportunity to adopt an Agile Mindset has been a significant milestone in our journey so far. It is an engagement of mutual benefit where Agile will be fostered in its true form. Our learning from this initiative will be ploughed back into our programs thereby enriching the learning experience of our clients.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 3, 2020 | Agile Coaching, Scrum Training
Introducing Agile to The Indian Army
The Intent
With twenty-four years in the Indian Army (Infantry and Army Aviation) and two years in the corporate environment, it has been my earnest endeavour to synthesise my learnings in service and deliver high-quality content to my clients as part of Leadership Tribe. What I deliver in my training, they are sourced from active combat situations in my postings and deployments as a counter-terrorism specialist, a combat helicopter pilot and a trainer in Organisational Behaviour at the College of Defence Management.
I have effectively incorporated military leadership and team performance lessons in my sessions as an Agile trainer, Coach, Facilitator and Consultant. Needless to say, my sessions on Agile focus on agility as a mindset, respecting the human element, developing cross-functional competencies, operating in VUCA situations and handling conflict scenarios; areas I have been trained and have consistently performed during my service in uniform.
It came as a pleasant surprise when I was invited to introduce ‘Agile’ in an Army base to explore possibilities of adopting new ways of working and thinking into their existing culture. It was now time to introduce new ways of ‘being’ and ‘doing’ to the very organisation which shaped me to what I am today. It was also an opportunity to ‘give back’ something of value.
The Approach
The Indian Army is an organisation steeped in legacy. Customs, traditions and ethos that have been fiercely guarded against external influences and lend themselves to a culture of high performance and selfless service. However, like any adaptive entity, it needs to embrace change to make itself relevant to a dynamic environment. I saw an opportunity to introduce Agile from an ontological approach. Emphasising more on the primacy of Agile as a ‘mindset’ and the need to acknowledge the importance of the human ‘being’. Using a psychological approach, the aim was to enlighten the participants (Senior Officers), to the art and science of “Being Agile”. The day-long engagement was more on discovering the various facets of the human mind and exploration through shared learning. It was a welcoming change to witness willful participation by the officers (despite the existing hierarchal influence that was present in the room) and the creation of a psychologically safe environment by none other than the Commandant himself.
Does the Military Need Agile?
The military works from the ‘ground-up’ with a core philosophy of building resilient teams responding to any situation or circumstance. They function under numerous processes and procedures that need revalidation and revision. Legacy habits need to be shed and new ways of thinking and operating need to be factored in. Management practices need are looked and substituted with more practical frameworks that are easy to adopt, flexible, responsive and consistent. Agile fulfils in these areas by contributing the following merits:
- Awareness on why any change/transformation can truly be manifested when stakeholder interest is driven from the very top
- Inculcating the true spirit of the Agile Mindset ushers in greater agility in the way things are done.
- Agile frameworks (Kanban, Scrum) implementation into existing processes and procedures.
- Change Management from a more enabling perspective by adopting the Agile way of ‘Being’.
- Facilitation and Coaching are skills that augment the efficiency of leadership (everyone is a leader here). Training to be an Agile coach and facilitator opens up new vistas for officers to address complex man-management issues much more effectively.
- Brings in a fresh perspective and creativity to problem-solving, especially issues that are sourced from human interactions.
How we Benefit?
Leadership Tribe in its relentless pursuit to push the domain of Agile as a Mindset into significant ‘Non – IT’ environments have leapt faith by engaging with the officers of the Indian Army. The willingness of the officers of the Army to know more from us about ‘Being Agile” and the opportunity to adopt an Agile Mindset has been a significant milestone in our journey so far. It is an engagement of mutual benefit where Agile will be fostered in its true form. Our learning from this initiative will be ploughed back into our programs thereby enriching the learning experience of our clients.
