Agile Coaching
Train your teams on agile methodology with insight and tips from Leadership Tribe where we specialize in online courses that can guide your team through the process. From Kanban training to Scrum Training, Agile software development and more, make your teams agile with the latest advice, news and blogs here.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 7, 2020 | Agile Coaching
I am from Wuhan. When foreigners ask me where I am from, not many people recognise the city and I’d be proud to introduce my hometown to them.
Wuhan is regarded as Chicago of China since it’s the central point for transportation. It is the sixth-largest city in the country and one of the most aggressive powers for domestic trade. Despite it is not as famous as Beijing or Shanghai internationally, Wuhan is a well-developed city with wealthy culture and history and a population of over 11 million people.
I had hoped for my city to gain its global fame one day, though I never thought it would be known by the world for the outbreak of coronavirus.
About my experience
I have been working abroad over the last decade, and I rarely had the chance to spend the Chinese New Year with family in China due to work commitment and timing issues. Since I started Leadership Tribe with some like-minded partners, I had some flexibility and decided to spend the 2020 Chinese New Year in Wuhan.
Since the outbreak of the Coronavirus, I have been stranded at home for over a month now. And if I look back, the emotional stages I have experienced coincides with the Kubler-Ross Model to a certain degree.
The Kubler-Ross Five Stage Model
Kubler-Ross (1969) described five stages of grief, which was first observed as a human response to learning about terminal illness. The stages represent the common range of feelings people experience when dealing with change in their lives or at work.
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
The model has also been widely used to understand how people react to change at different times. The stages can last for different periods, and may replace each other or exist side by side at times. It is important to understand that people need to move through the stages and reach ‘Acceptance’ to drive change.
Denial
When the news about the coronavirus in Wuhan first came out, I was in complete shock and I really couldn’t believe what is happening in my city. I have always witnessed and enjoyed the glamour of urban life in the city, and I never know such a wildlife market existed on ‘the dark side’ of the story. I was defensive and I refused to believe this is happening after the ordeal of SARS, like an ostrich with its head in the sand.
Anger
After a week or so, the reality started to settle in and I felt angry at everything. I was furious at the people who trade and consume wildlife irrespective of the government’s ban, which was believed to be the source of the catastrophe. I was frustrated at the fact that the early warning signals were missed, and we lost the best opportunity to restrict the impact of the coronavirus. I was irritated that the foreign media coverage suggested the wildlife market is popular in China, where most people can’t relate. I felt disserted and abandoned, and I was surprised myself that my anger was directed from different directions.
Bargaining
The bargaining stage is where one attempts to get life back on how it was before through a type of negotiation of making a major change. Looking back, I don’t think I have experienced much in this stage. I never feel desperate as I am at home with my parents, and to me, there is no place safer than home. I might be concerned about many things, but I have always felt safe and I believe it is just a matter of time that life will be back to normality.
Depression
My anger dissipated quickly and after staying in the flat for a few weeks, I realised the reality that with the outbreak of the coronavirus, we have to stay in to keep away from it. I didn’t feel like to do anything, I didn’t want to leave the bed, and I didn’t even want to talk to family and friends. There was a sense of hopelessness and I didn’t care as much about what was going around me. The world seemed overwhelming, and how much I have hoped that I wake up to the news that the whole coronavirus thing is over!
Acceptance
I kept on muddling along, till earlier this week that I became aware of a deadline that I need to work towards. It was a pin drop for me, which helped me to re-enter reality. The world still goes on, I have work, I have deadlines, I have Leadership Tribe to support and I have loved ones who are supporting me. It has been a tough ride, and yes we might still be stranded for not sure how long, but like all the people here in Wuhan who are fighting the same war, we have the faith that we will defeat the disease and create better lives after the catastrophe.
In all, I have experienced the stages in the Kubler-Ross model with the coronavirus outbreak. By reflecting on my emotional journey, I have learnt a bit more about myself and I acknowledge that I am in the ‘Acceptance’ phase.
I am sure the people in Wuhan are going through the same stages, one way or the other, which conveys different levels of emotion as they deal with the changes in their lives. I’d like to recognise and applause the bravery it takes for all the people from Wuhan coming thus far. We can never expect what happens next, all we can do is to move along with the changes, explore new possibilities and look for creative solutions.
I have also summarised my ‘lessons learnt’ from the coronavirus outbreak in another blog. If you are interested, make sure you follow us to get the latest update.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 7, 2020 | Agile Coaching
Human language is unique and generative, and enormously powerful to either contribute to people’s enjoyment or make their life miserable. Every day we touch people in different ways, and why not use the power of our language to enrich lives and make yourself feel good?
Nonviolent Communication presents a simple method for clear, empathic communication, and enables you to genuinely connect with others and defuse any potential conflict.
Violent Communication vs Nonviolent Communication
To look at what the nonviolent communication is, let’s first look at what it is not. Dr Rosenberg referred to violent communication as “life-disconnected, life-alienated thinking and language”. This way of thinking and speaking is based on judgement, labelling, humiliation, blame, criticism, coercion and firm notion of who is right/wrong. It pushes people away from connecting.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC), on the other hand, allows people to be conscious, present, and genuine, without implying wrongness on the other party. It helps people to connect at the deeper level of values and needs and build quality connection. NVC enables people to share their perspectives harmoniously and listen behind the statement. As a result, people are more compassionate and less defensive, they communicate better and conflicts are less likely to occur.
The Nonviolent Communication Process
The Nonviolent Communication process consists of four components: Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests. Each of these four components has two parts, as for any communication model: speaking and listening. NVC refer the two parts as honesty (one’s authentic and genuine self-expression) and empathy (how one listens). We use these in conjunction with our Nonviolent Communication skills to exchange information and make both parties feel more connected and bring about mutually beneficial outcomes.
The four components of the Nonviolent Communication process are introduced below, as well as some practical hints on how we use them:
Observations
Your perceptual observation of the neutral facts provides the basis of the communication, so both parties are clear of what you are talking about.
Practical Hints:
State the factual observations that lead you to initiate the communication, with no judgment or evaluation. This provides a common ground for communication and eliminates confusion. For instance, “It is 10:30 am and I see you just arrive at work” states an observed fact, while “It’s way too late for you to arrive at work” makes an evaluation.
Feelings
Feelings are the physical sensations we experience in our body and emotions in a given interaction. They offer a great opportunity for us to establish a powerful connection with another person, communicate our own experience or understand the other side of the story.
Practical Hints:
Inform the other party about your emotion triggered by the observation, or ask what the other person is feeling without judgment. It helps to identify the feeling that you or the other person are experiencing at that moment and enables you to connect with mutual respect and cooperation. For example, “It is 10:30 am and I see you just arrive at work. I feel my time is not being respected.” Or if you want to ask the other person “The board meeting is in half an hour and I see you are pacing. Are you feeling anxious?”
Needs
Understanding people’s needs bring communication to the core, allowing people to see each other’s humanity. It enables the understanding and healing process and sets the tone for a win-win solution. It is important to point out that in NVC, ‘needs’ differ from ‘desires’ in the sense that they are shared by all people, and not specific to any particular circumstance or strategy for accomplishing them.
Practical Hints:
State the need which cause a particular feeling, or ask the same for the other party without judgement. It provides clarity on what is going on with both parties at the moment, and help to identify the underlying need. For instance, “I haven’t been involved in the team decision, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I need to be heard as part of the team.” Or you can ask the other person “I understand that you were not involved in your team decision. Are you feeling sulking because your voice is not being heard?”
Requests
Expressing what you want by making a concrete request and taking responsibility for it.
Practical Hints:
Ask clearly and explicitly for what you want instead of beating the bushes. It is important to note that you are making a request, not a demand, which means the other person has the choice to reject or offer you something else. For example, “How about we have a weekly all-inclusive team meeting to discuss the decision which impacts our team going forward?”
Remember, in any communication it is never about ‘who is right and who is wrong’, it is always about ‘how can I make life more wonderful’. When people experience quality connection, they will spontaneously feel motivated to create win-win outcomes.
Here at Leadership Tribe, we can help you or your team to incorporate compassionate communication in your interactions with family, friends, co-workers, or anyone else you come into contact with. Contact us at [email protected] to find out the solution that best suits your needs.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 7, 2020 | Agile Coaching, Scrum Training
It is my observation that when we implement a change initiative across an organisation, the leaders are generally well aware of why we do what we do, but the message rarely translates down to the team level. Most of the teams ‘just do it’, without understanding why and the benefits those changes may bring. Similarly, in an organization’s Agile transformation, people accept certain new practices and new ceremonies as they have been told so, and they get confused and frustrated when they don’t get the expected results. We need to arouse people’s curiosity, engagement, excitement and drive to thrive the transformation, all of which starts with answering the question of ‘WHY’. I have incorporated Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle Theory as a technique to help the team members to understand the ‘WHY’, and use the Scrum ceremonies to better serve their organization’s goals.
The Golden Circle Theory
The Golden Circle is a thought model developed by Simon Sinek, which suggests that the key to success lies in the way organizations and leaders think, act and communicate. He suggested that influential companies communicate from the inside out instead of outside in, which entails three layers in the order of the ‘WHY’, the ‘HOW’ and the ‘WHAT’.
The WHY conveys what an organisation or brand believes in, it clarifies and communicates the purpose. The HOW represents what the company does and why their products or services stand out from the competition. The WHAT explains what the company sell, its products and services.
The Scrum Ceremonies and Why They Are Important
Let us examine the Scrum ceremonies and identify the WHY behind each ceremony:
Sprint Planning
In the Spring Planning meeting, the entire Scrum team work collaboratively and plan out the work to be performed in the Sprint. The team evaluate and select Product Backlog for the Sprint, decides on the incremental deliverable for the upcoming Sprint and how the work required can be achieved by decomposing the work into an actionable plan.
WHY:
- Create the objective to be met through the implementation of the Sprint (Sprint Goal)
- Identify Sprint Goal to provide continued guidance to Dev Team on why they are building the increment, and flexibility regarding the functionality implemented within the Sprint.
Daily Scrum
Daily Scrum is also known as Daily Stand-up, it is a time-boxed event (normally 15-minute) held every day during the Sprint for the Dev Team to synchronize activities and create a plan for the next day. The structure of the Daily Scrum is determined by the Dev Team and can be conducted in different ways, as long as it focuses on achieving the Sprint Goal. In general, all members of the team need to answer three questions:
- What did I complete yesterday?
- What will I be working on today?
- What are the blockers that stand in my way?
WHY:
- Brings everyone to the same page and inspects on the progress toward the Sprint Goal
- Optimizes team collaboration and performance, enable the Dev Team to hold each other responsible and work together as a self-organising team
- Improves communication and transparency, promote quick decision-making, remove impediments, adapt and re-plan the rest of the Sprint as necessary
- Increases the probability of the Dev team to accomplish the Sprint Goal
Sprint Review
Sprint Review is held at the end of each Sprint to showcase the work that has been done in the Sprint. During the Sprint Review, the Dev Team discuss what went well, the problems encountered and how those problems were resolved. Depends on the Product Backlog and any changes to it during the Sprint, attendees collaborate on what to do next, so that the Sprint Review provides valuable input to subsequent Sprint Planning.
WHY:
- Ensures customer requirements are met and elicits constructive feedback
- Fosters team collaboration and improves performance
- Reviews the change to the marketplace and/or product usage, adjusts the next steps accordingly
- Revises Product Backlog items for the next Sprint to meet new opportunities.
Sprint Retrospective
Sprint Retrospective is an opportunity for the Scrum Team to review and adjust itself. It normally occurs after the Sprint Review and before the next Sprint Planning. All team members should attend the meeting to discuss: what went well in the Sprint, what could be improved, and what will the team commit to improving in the next Sprint.
WHY:
- Incorporates lessons-learnt to the next Sprint, improves process and practices
- Increases product quality and uplifts team spirit
- Enable a team culture of trust and transparency at work
Summary
The Scrum ceremonies help the teams to promote collaboration, maintain transparency, maximize productivity, and most importantly, constantly review and adapt as they progress so that they can continuously learn and improve.
It is important to acknowledge that each of the Scrum ceremonies has a very particular reason for its existence and practice. Instead of following the rigid definition of these ceremonies, teams need to understand why we do what we do, be pragmatic and adapt accordingly to make the ceremonies work for them and add value to their daily work.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 7, 2020 | Agile Coaching
About Self-care
Self-care is the activity you consciously take to look after your mental, emotional, and physical health. It may sound like a very simple concept, yet most of us often find it is something we have ignored.
Self-care is not about being selfish and only considering our own needs. It is about looking after ourselves and subsequently being able to take care of our loved ones. Good self-care is key to live a balanced life. It is important to not only ourselves but also to our loved ones and our relationships with them. Imagine yourself being constantly exhausted, anxious, frustrated, how do your spouse and children would feel around you, leaving alone supporting them in the time of need?
This is probably why the flight attendants instruct us to ‘put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone sits with you’. We need to take care of ourselves first in a unique situation like what we are experiencing right now.
How Do We Make A Start
So we know self-care is important, but ‘how’ do we make a start? Often I heard people asking the question of how to fit self-care into their busy schedule. This is particularly the case for women, as in addition to their professional life, they also play the roles of wives and mums. What can they do and how do they find the time to do anything for themselves?
I have three simple pieces of advice to kick things off:
- Understand what works for you
We are all different individuals with unique characteristics. Self-care may mean distinctive things to each person, the form of self-care that works for others may not be what you need, and vice versa. That is perfectly fine. Just like you have a set of keys in hand, and if you don’t know which key it is for a particular lock, simply try them one by one till you find the right one that works.
Self-care is not something that just happens. It is a conscious choice you make, you need to plan and execute activities to deliver the desired positive outcome. Add the planned activities to your calendar and get reminders for them, tell your family and friends about it so they can ‘supervise’ you to stick to the plan, and practice self-care where and when possible.
Remember, we are often swimming against the tide, the busy schedules and competing priorities in daily life will always try to pull us back. If you practice self-care, always be aware of how it feels and the value-add for you, acknowledge the outcomes and how it helps, anchor the changes and keep on going forward.
Some Practical Advice
Practising self-care requires us to change behaviours in a certain way. If the change is perceived to be long-fetched, we might not be motivated to do anything at all. It is thought to be a good idea to start small with realistic and achievable changes.
As mentioned, self-care can mean different things to different people, I have listed below what worked for me in this unique time, and hopefully, it can provide you with some ideas:
- Realise the environment may be toxic and its impact on you, look after your well-being and emotions.
- Do something you enjoy to relax. Activities vary from people to people, such as cooking, watching movies, and practising meditation, whatever works for you!
- Say ‘no’ to the things you don’t want to do or shouldn’t be doing, such as checking your work phone during meals or speaking to people who make you feel bad.
- Look for opportunities to laugh and spread the laughter out! I regularly check out channels for funny pictures and videos and send them to my friends and family groups.
- Spend quality time with your loved ones (even virtually) and support each other mentally during this difficult time.
- Sleep for at least 7 – 8 hours helps you to revitalise and get ready for the next day.
- Healthy and nutritious diet (and supplement of multi-vitamins) is extremely important in the quarantine which strengthens your immune system.
- Regular exercise improves your physical condition, as well as mood and energy.
This list of self-care activities has helped me to go through some difficult times during the quarantine. It is non-exhaustive and may look completely different from yours. And I’d love to hear from you on what works for you.
If there is only one thing I’d like you to take away from reading this article, that would be to remember ‘put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else’. Self-care is not about being selfish, but to look after yourself which in turn affects your relationship and loved ones. It is important to remember that self-care is about YOU and what works for you. It takes time to practice and make sure you anchor the ‘new you’re in the process to make small but steady steps towards the best you can be.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 4, 2020 | Agile Coaching
What are we faced with?
In these challenging times, concerns about COVID-19 is taking a great toll on all and especially those who are vulnerable. Everyone is affected by the global pandemic, and the uncertainty and unknown seem frustrating and overwhelming. With more and more offices, schools, cities and even countries shutting down, the sense of dread and panic is spreading.
We as individuals may not be able to control the pandemic, but we can control ourselves and build inner resilience in response to the pandemic.
What is Resilience?
Resilience consists of an amalgamation of a set of skills, anchoring the inner strength to recover from major life calamity. Resilience is the ability to bounce back and keep going when life knocks you down. Resilient people have the mental strength to move through adversity by having a more positive outlook. They cope with stress effectively without losing their cool.
Research indicates that resilience comes naturally for only a few of us, and the rest have to learn this important life skill and develop the actions to pick yourself up when things happen.
Why Resilience is so important?
Changes are inevitable in our lives. For instance, the pandemic is one of the biggest challenges mankind has ever encountered, and it has impacted on our health and changed the way we behave and interact. This disruptions to our daily life has brought on anxiety and negativity, which we are still grappling with to find a way out.
In the unprecedented event, resilience is important to ensure we don’t get worn down by the challenges and disruptions we are facing. It helps us to we learn lessons and make meanings from them, survive and thrive the uncertainty by adapting well in the face of adversity.
How to build personal resilience in our lives?
Personal resilience can be built and strengthened over time and with practice. To start with, maybe think about incorporating the following practices into your daily life:
- Belief in your Abilities: Self-esteem plays an important role in coping with changes. Start listing your major strengths and accomplishments, and replace your negative outlook with a positive one. For example, “I can certainly do this”, “I am a great mother/father”, or “I am very good at my job”).
- Being more adaptable: An essential aspect of resilience is flexibility. Being adaptable you’ll respond smartly when faced with a life crisis. Resilient people utilize calamity as an opportunity to branch out in new directions and thrive.
- Hope and positivity: Resilience gives you the strength to stay optimistic during the darkest period of your life. This does not mean ignoring the problem, it means understanding the temporary setbacks and having the strength to combat the challenges you face.
- Nurturing self: Build your self-nurturance and make time for activities that you enjoy. Sleep peacefully and well. Take care of yourself first and then get ready to face life’s curveballs.
- Be your own Sherlock: Try to come up with your solutions to the problems you face. This will help you to establish confidence to cope with any kind of problem that arises.
- Indulge in a new hobby: You can protect yourself from feeling drowned from the constant barrage of depressive news. Do something enjoyable, such as read a book, play an instrument or write a daily journal.
- Compassion with self: Often we forget to go easy on our limitations. Instead of giving ourselves credits on what we do well, we hang on to what we don’t do so well. Focus on our strengths and resilience, and we will be prepared to confront challenges head-on.
Conclusion – Resilience is Key
As the pandemic continues to impact our lives, build resilience within ourselves is key to hold our grounds with self-awareness, full-hearted acceptance, and equanimity. Resilience helps us to pick ourselves up as many times as we fall, helps us to adapt constantly and build the tenacity to never give up. It plays an important role to assist us to survive and thrive tough times, keep on learning and improving, supporting ourselves and helping other people in need.
by Krishna Chodipilli | Dec 4, 2020 | Agile Coaching
The Drama Triangle was first described by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. It is a model of dysfunctional social interactions and illustrates a power game that involves three roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor, each role represents a common and ineffective response to conflict.
The journey around the triangle can be done with self or another, such as a spouse, child, co-worker, and so on. Most of us are neurologically programmed to play these three roles, and we consciously or unconsciously choose one role given the particular context.
From Agile Training to Scrum Training, Organisational Coaching & Leadership Coaching, Find out how Leadership Tribe can work with your team.
The Three Roles Explained
In the Drama Triangle, each player in the particular mind game begins by assuming one of the three typical roles:
Victims often feel victimised, trapped, helpless and hopeless. They think they are at the mercy of life. They are unwilling to take responsibility for their undesirable circumstances and don’t think they have the power to change their lives.
Victims assume themselves as powerless or incompetent and blame on Persecutors (can be other people or a particular situation). They always seek for Rescuers to solve the problem for them. If the Victims continue to stay in the ‘dejected’ stance, it will prevent them from making decisions, solving problems, changing the current state, or sensing any satisfaction or achievement.
- Rescuer – “Let me help you.”
Rescuers constantly intervene on behalf of the Victims and try to save Victims from perceived harm. They feel guilty of standing by and ‘watching people drown’.
Rescuers may have all the good intention and strive to ‘help’ other people as they see necessary. They fail to realise that by offering short-term fixes to Victims, they keep Victims dependent and neglect their own needs. This is why Rescuers often find themselves pressured, tired, and may not have time to finish their own tasks, as they are busy fire-fighting for the Victims as they arise!
- Persecutor – “It’s all your fault.”
Persecutors are like ‘Critical Parents’ who are strict and firm and set boundaries. They tend to think that they must win at any cost.
Persecutors blame the Victims and criticize the behaviour of Rescuers, without providing appropriate guidance, assistance or a solution to the problem. They are critical and good at finding fault, and control with order and rigidity. They keep the Victims oppressed and sometimes can be a bully.
Are you a Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor?
Now you are aware of the Drama Triangle and the roles in the triangular setting. So are you a victim, a rescuer, or a persecutor?
If you’re human, chances are you may see yourself or be seen by others, as all three in different scenarios.
It is important to point out that the players in the Drama Triangle may switch roles during a mind game, and if anyone in this triangle changes roles, the other two roles change as well.
Example
Below is a fictitious example which demonstrates the Drama Triangle in motion and the way players move from one role of the triangle to another.
Mark: Alex, the Programme Status Report is due at noon today. Could you please send it over to me as soon as possible? (P)
Alex: Doh! I haven’t done it yet, I wasn’t sure what is required, and I have been overwhelmed with the other priorities for my programme. (V)
Mark: The request and report template were sent to you last week. If you were not sure about the requirement, why didn’t you ask? (P)
Alex: I was overwhelmed and didn’t have the capacity. (V)
Mark: It is already 10 am now, can you pull something up for your programme quickly? (P)
Kate: Mark, what information do you need from our programme? (R)
Mark: The standard – programme RAG status, programme highlights, key risks and issues, milestones and dependencies. (R)
Kate: We produce quite a few programme reports for the portfolio already. Can’t you just tweak the information to get what you need? (P)
Mark: Do you know how many programme updates I have to collate for the portfolio updates? (V)
Alex: Honestly, I think the status report is an overkill! (P)
Kate: Never mind, give me half an hour. I will update the status report and send it over. (R)
And the conversation can go on indefinitely, so are the chances of the roles.
Escape the Drama Triangle
As per the example above, whilst the triangular role play may not be all bad, it can lead to friction and conflicts and detrimental for people involved. In my next blog, I am going to discuss briefly how we can escape the Drama Triangle.
Learn more about self-awareness, emotional intelligence, creating psychological safety, asking powerful questions, and professional coaching skills in our ICAgile Certified Agile Coaching online course.
